


When The Smoke Clears

by lecworthy



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, TW: implied suicidal thoughts, let me rest, listen i know this is cheesy and fluffy, percy and vax friendship, post-briarwoods, this is therapy for me ok, vax comforts percy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-09
Updated: 2019-01-09
Packaged: 2019-10-07 10:26:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17364269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lecworthy/pseuds/lecworthy
Summary: The Briarwoods' fall healed a part of Percival, but it left just as much of him broken, as well. But Vax had made a promise to keep an eye on Percy, and he intends to do just that.





	When The Smoke Clears

**Author's Note:**

> i have no excuse nor explanation for this, other than  
> 1\. i love percy  
> 2\. i love percy and vax's friendship, both pre- and post-sunken tomb  
> 3\. i love getting validation from my friends vicariously through fictional characters.
> 
> so yes, this is very cheesy and fluffy and gross, please enjoy
> 
> (tw: implied suicidal thoughts)

He’d begun to ponder what would have become of him had Scanlan never (carelessly) thrown The List into the acid. If his irrational anger after the fact was anything to go by, it could have been nothing good. While he had felt Orthax’s tight hold on him loosen as the gun disappeared, he had spent time and money on that, damnit, and a de Rolo is never careless with his time or his money. 

But his investment in its creation was not the only reason he sometimes wished for The List back. Percival had already slept better than he had in years after the Briarwoods, and he no longer struggled to breathe when intense emotion overtook him. And yet, there was still a...cruelness about him. A self-loathing so deep that not even he could dig it out. Previously, he could simply credit his callousness to the literal demon that was tearing at his soul. “This isn’t truly my nature,” he would fool himself into saying, “and one day I will be alright.” But now, cleansed of any smoke that had been building, he had no one to blame for his nature but himself.

Perhaps he would have been less forgiving towards Scanlan if his sister’s name had not appeared on the gun. He’d imagined the possibilities of an empty barrel, but none so horrifying. He’d often theorized and maybe even hoped that the remaining chamber would be saved for the one who deserved it most: himself.

As he sat contemplating, legs strown over the side of the battlements of Castle Whitestone, Percy pulled out Retort and gently traced the barrels with his thumb. The dusk cast a faint shadow that left only half his person in sunlight. With the chamber facing his person, his fingertips lingered on the trigger, much in the way they had when he had experimentally pulled the gun on Cassandra. It would be fitting, really, if his most prized creation also turned out to be his end. He deserved nothing less for the cruelty unleashed upon the world.

“Careful, Freddie, wouldn’t want you to trip.”

Percy whipped around at the voice to see a slightly amused Vax staring at him. He looked down at the view below him and chuckled. “We’ve survived much worse than a slight fall, haven’t we?”

“Perhaps. Be a shame to waste Pike’s magic on your clumsiness, though.” There was still a bemused tint to the rogue’s voice, but Percy could feel his eyes trail down to the gun still in his hands. “Still pissed at Scanlan, are you?”

Percy sighed. “I’m aware that the little shit’s actions were for the best and I was in no way capable of making my own decisions, but please, just let me wallow in my self-pity for a moment. I deserve that, at least.”

“Well, I certainly won’t argue that.” Vax walked forward and swung his legs over the battlement, placing himself right next to Percy. “You scared all of us for a hot minute there. Not just with the smoke stuff; we’ve all gotten fairly used to that, believe it or not. But you were talking to yourself and proceeded to threaten both your sister and yourself. Not to mention, we fought off a literal demon that erupted from your person.”

“Yes, well, I scared myself for a minute. But I’m perfectly alright now, I assure you.” He gave his friend a half-hearted smirk, not really looking in his eye. 'Look me in the eye, Percy,' echoed the words of Vex’ahlia, which made him look down farther.

“Don’t fuck with me, de Rolo.” At that his eyes shot up. Vax was giving him a look of such intensity that he couldn’t help but maintain the eye contact. “You asked me yourself to keep an eye on you, and I warned you about hurting anyone in this group inadvertently.”

Percy cocked his head. “If I have done anything in the past few days to -”

“This group includes you, Percival.” That shut his mouth. Vax continued. “You can lock yourself in your workshop and flout your independence all you want, but you are apart of this family all the same. We just fought vampires for you, so I’d say you’re stuck with us for the time being. And you may claim to be alright now that everything is over, but I know you, and I know that nothing is ever that simple. So spill.”

For a moment, all he could do was stare. He’d never thought Vax to be perceptive to anyone’s emotions but his sister’s, but more than that, he never thought Vax to care about him. Especially after his recent bouts of cruelty and unpredictability, Percival had resigned himself to the fact that he no longer deserved the care of his party members. They may still keep him around for usefulness’ sake, but the relationship had surely moved from personal to professional. 

Vax was still staring at him, waiting for him to speak. “I...apologize. I did not know my intrapersonal conflict had such a bearing on your conscience.”

“Yeah, well, you’ve always been more of a dumbass than you let on, haven’t you?” The half-elf playfully pushed Percy’s arm, and Percy managed a snort in response. “Come on, Freddie. We’ve been doing this far too long to not care for one another. Now out with it.”

Percy stilled. Vax was not the type of person to let things go easily, and confessing a death wish would certainly not go over well. After a moment, “I...suppose I was foolish in believing my troubles would be over when the Briarwoods were over.” Nothing is better. Nothing feels better, nothing is avenged. “I’ve been fighting them, fighting myself for five years, thinking it would solve something, though I suppose I have...outside influence to thank for that.” He laughed a bit and then continued. “Now they’re dead, and I’m no longer possessed, and my sister is alive, and I’m just as broken and empty as I was when you all found me in that dungeon.”

Vax, to his credit, did not react, only sat and listened. When Percy stopped talking, the two let the silence linger for a moment. The sun was almost completely hidden now, only a few stray beams peeking over the horizon. He still felt the heat on his heavy jacket and tightened his grip on the cold gun absentmindedly. 

He startled at a force stopping his slightly-tremoring hands and looked up to see Vax’s hand on top of his. His first instinct was to pull away; he was never one for physical touch, and the other party members knew this. However, the way in which Vax was looking at him caused him pause. He remained still, watching his friend watch him.

“Listen. I’m not going to sit here and deny that you’re shady as shit. You definitely are. It took me awhile to warm up to you when we found you. I’m sure you know that.” Percy laughed. He remembered the rogue’s distance towards him in their earliest days, his mistrustful glances he would toss in battle or over dinner. 

Vax continued. “But we all have our own baggage to deal with. You’re elusive and an arrogant prick; that’s fine. Vex and I have daddy issues, Keyleth killed a kid, Grog is Grog, I don’t even know what’s up with Scanlan half the time.” He smiled a bit and held Percy’s eye. “But we’re a family, alright? Dysfunctional, sure, but still a family. You’re surrounded by the people who care most about you, so I’d say you’re a lot less broken and empty now than ever. But you’re never going to feel like it if you don’t talk to us. So you can mope around and lament in your feelings, or you can let us help you.” He emphasized the last words.

Percy felt a twitch of a smile appear as he looked at Vax. “That’s rich coming from you, you know.”

The half-elf smiled back at him. “I know, I know, I’m a big fat hypocrite. We all are, I think. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t listen to me, though.”

“I suppose you’re right. You’re certainly the most beneficial person to take advice from.” Vax’s hand was still on top of his, and he let himself rest in the touch for a moment before pulling away and once again examining his gun. He ran his fingers over the trigger as he had been doing, but quickly lowered his hand and placed the weapon in his pocket. “Shall we?”

Vax stood as he did, both swinging their legs over to the solid ground. “We shall. Come on, you could use a drink, and no doubt the others could, too. Surely there’s one decent place of establishment in this city?”

Percy smiled. “I’m sure I could think of a few. Only the best for the heroes of Whitestone.”

Vax clapped Percival’s back as they descended the stairs to find the rest of their party. Percy walked lighter than he had since he reclaimed his home, knowing that he had reclaimed his family, as well, and that was worth more than anything.


End file.
